Dautobot's Blogs

The day before yesterday i had gotten cornrows.

I was gonna get twists, but they were too expensive, so i settled for braids anyway. I sat there for hours as i heard my hairline being nearly ripped from my head, only to find out they do cheap twists anyway...

So i sat and when she was finally finished, i turned around and looked at myself and i was satisfied. I had worn a blue dress and i literally looked like i was from the carribbean. A couple of days later my self-esteem has been stunted down again. My forehead has a Mr. Clean-esqe shine to it, and my head shape is funny, my ears make me look demonic and one side of my braids have been braided tighter than the other, resulting in one of my eyebrows being raised slightly than the other, so i look confused all the time.

The good thing is that i don't have to manage my hair and i've been getting so many comments, and hell, i paid 80 dollars for that style, so i try not to complain, but cornrows have never been "me" in general. I can't wait to take them out, they hurt like hell. I hope i don't have to get cornrows anymore.

Today is the first day of august; school starts on the 10th...Hoelly Shat. I am not looking forward to this. Even though i understand that it's supposedly my last year and i am supposed to enjoy it, but heres something people should know about me: anything involving

• Other teenagers
• councelors fucking up my schedual no matter how many times it go up there to fix it
• teenagers
• sitting there and being bored
• teenagers.

See, i "suffer" from many different things: Depression, BDD, anxiety, and social phobias. After an awkward incident involving weak mucles and panic attacks, during the 4th day of school last year i ended up landing myself in the hospital to which concluded in me seeing the hospital psychologist, diagnosing me with problems that i have suffered for many years but my mom was too in denial to listen to me, she self-proclaimed me as being "shy" but there's a whole lot of difference to "shy" and "social phobia", thats just another ignorant statement to me, along with people saying that im skinny when im actually average weight for my age.

So if you ever see me, im not the girl socializing with everyone, im usually standing, doing something else, minding my own business. Which has led me to having absolutely no friends whatsoever. So yeah...me and my sad life. Im not looking forward to starting school. I think the next time i see another "back 2 school sale" im gonna vomit.