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Posted on March 28, 2009.

I met her in Philadelphia

My eyes beheld the embodiment of African beauty

Specifically made for my natural selection

Her eyes gazed back… with beautiful determination fixed in my direction

My lips spoke what hers wouldn’t

Conversely colliding….magnetic in their connection

So when I got her alone….

There was no stopping and questioning…no apprehension

Showed her some brotherly love and she returned some sisterly affection

We make love in two-part harmony

I strum out her pain with my fingers and she blows out my worries

Nobody knows the troubles I’ve seen but her

And nobody knows her sorrows but me

She is my open book and I am her mirror image

Giving birth to a love vintage in its reflection

No..I’m not perfect and I…have many flaws…but she is my correction

Separately we’re works in progress but together we’re perfection

Every king needs a queen but let me keep it real…she is my equal

Told her I was brand new to love and her hands rocked and cradled me through my infancy

For that I worship her like she’s my goddess and her body is my temple

Show her what a woman’s worth because I KNOW what my woman’s worth!

Beautiful is her determination to love me to infinity

She is my inspiration and I am her creativity

So when we’re alone

There’s no stopping…no questioning…no apprehension

I show her some brotherly love and she returns some sisterly affection

<o:p> </o:p>

Tags: love, affection, philadelphia, poetry, writing

Tales From a Late Bloomer

Posted on March 4, 2009.

I'm sure you're wondering what I mean by late bloomer, so I guess I'll start here...

At the age of 13 as I walked down the hallways of my middle school, I noticed pregnant girls and that was really crazy to me. I mean come on, these girls have their period AND are already having sex?! That was territory yet to be explored by me. I mean, the only thing that I had ever done up to that point was kiss a boy on the cheek! I know, sounds lame, but I was a good Christian girl and seeing that round belly in the hallway helped me to make my decision to remain a virgin until marriage. Easy enough, right?

Fast forward to the summer of '99---I was about to be a sophomore in high school---at a new school 2 hours away from the only city I knew to be home. Talk about devastated! But that's the life of a PK (preacher's kid).

So this new high school was soooo different from what I was used to----such a culture shock to be around so many white folks----no lie. But I did find some sexy chocolate lurking through the halls. Keep in mind that I am now 14 going on 15 and I still have never had a boyfriend (my crush from around the way that I kissed on the cheek so does not count---he denied ever being my boo--tragic! lol). I hated being at that school and it showed all over my face. I made friends despite all this and I found new guys to have crushes on. One guy in particular was a senior and he was just adorable to me. I thought he was interested in me too but he never pursued me and I am not the type to go after guys lookin all thirsty (LOL) so that was that.

My junior year proved to be more interesting. I actually made friends with a guy who was a virgin (YAY) and he also happened to be my friend's boyfriend. It was nice to have that male perspective on the whole virginity issue. We're actually still friends to this day. Then I met this really cute guy in one of my classes who also happened to be friends of my crush from last year. We'll call last year's crush A and this year's boo W. So W and I really like each other and we talk on the phone all the time. He's a football player and just the cutest thing I'd ever seen. Then I met W and A's mutual friend R. Oh my goodness! He was chocolate and had the most beautiful smile. This is where my chocolate preference took over. So R and I would talk on the phone and flirt in study hall. This was the life!

Yet I felt pressure from both W and R to have sex. I was a strong little cookie back then because I definitely did not give in. R would bring condoms to school, give me the sexy eye (and boy were they sexy) and smack my butt. Talk about horny teenagers! But W on the other hand would try to get me to come over to his place so we could "watch movies." Keep in mind that I have never been out on a date with either of these guys and my strict West Indian parents were not having that! Not their baby!

Needless to say they graduated (they were a year ahead of me) and moved on. It was really crazy that they like me so much. No self esteem issue or anything, but I have never kissed either of them. The only thing I did was give them hugs. The pursuit of a virgin was somethin serious back then!

So my senior year of high school had finally arrived and I could not wait to go off to college and leave this city that I never wanted to move to behind me! No boyfriend, no crush, the focus now was school and getting into college. Oh how could I forget about prom? That was a task within itself! Trying to find a date proved difficult. I mean I'm a pretty girl. You would think it would be easy but having to ask guys was a challenge for me. So of course I enlisted my best friend's help. That worked well and the night was a success---no sex---although my friend's date that was also my friend, we'll call him J flirted with me the whole time asking if my bra and panties match.....

The year breezed by me. Graduation had came and went. Friends came and went as the summer quickly approached. It was time to work and save my pennies for everything I needed for college! I was holding on tight to my virginity. Still no kiss and no boyfriend. Oh yes, I was 17 by then. What was college going to be like for a late bloomer?!

Release

Posted on January 22, 2009.

Hey everyone, this vickiet speaking and I need yall's help with something. Since the new year came in, I've been doing some serious thinking about myself. See, I've been through some serious "me" breakdowns in the past couple of years, no matter fact, throughout my adolescence years. I've been so confused and always questioned God why I feel as if I shouldn't be here, or don't want to be here. Then as I got older I realized that there's more to life than I can imagine. I started appreciating things just a little more and had to take on one day at a time. I mean, it's going to take some time because not only did I do harm to myself, I allowed other people to harm my spirit too. But I don't want to play the blame game, I want to forgive and release all the frustrations that I once had against myself, my friends, my family, past relationships, and the world. Today I would like to take this opprotunity to invite you into a part of me that no one ever realized was there. I want to release myself and I would like for you all to see what it is I want to release.

Over those depressing years I wrote poem and journal entries that were drooling with cries for help. I didn't know who to go to so I kept to myself, a pen, and any paper I could get a hold of. I want to post these to GhettoSoul, because I want to be able to look back on this and see where I've come from as far as growth. These poems are a reflection of me then, and where I'm at now.

A Love So Deep

Posted on January 12, 2009.

I have a love so deep for my people that it hurts<o:p></o:p>

So I took up Black Studies quench my cultural thirst<o:p></o:p>

I was born in America, but…Mother Afrika is the place of my birth<o:p></o:p>

I have an Afrikan-born heart even though I've never touched Afrikan earth<o:p></o:p>

You see…I will remain connected to my people for better or for worse<o:p></o:p>

Whether they doing something positive or out in the streets doing dirt<o:p></o:p>

I mourn my peoples' journey from the cradle to the hearse<o:p></o:p>

Parents burying their children knowing it should be reversed<o:p></o:p>

We degrade our mothers and sisters, fathers and brothers…forgetting what we're worth<o:p></o:p>

I'm just a conscious brother trying to reach young minds hoping the streets don't reach them first<o:p></o:p>

Trying to reach plagued minds, often the victims of lies that our blackness is a curse<o:p></o:p>

Chanting:<o:p></o:p>

BLACK POWER! BLACK POWER! BLACK IS BEAUTIFUL!<o:p></o:p>

Make that love hurt<o:p></o:p>

I have a love so deep for my people that it hurts<o:p></o:p>

It's like a steady pounding…so deep in my chest it could burst<o:p></o:p>

I have a love so deep for my people that it hurts<o:p></o:p>

And It pains me that some of them stopped listening after the first verse

Fcuk Whatchu Heard

Posted on January 12, 2009.

Let's have a conversation
First, we can word-play, mix it up with a combination of oral and sign language
I will lip sync the weight of your chest by bits and pieces
Then smooth talk my way into your secrets
Watch my hands…watch my hands
I'll stroke your ego to get your mind wet
Moving my face closer to read your lips as you talk to my hands
I'll part your lips and read between the creases
The cat got my tongue so for now I'm speechless
I know you like to dictate and that works for me
But, I will be your cunning linguist and have you hooked on phonics
Have you begging on your knees to suck up my knowledge
I'll give you a taste of my pre-conceived notions
You see, I'm trying to get your closed mind WIDE OPEN
LET MY DICTION BE THE STIMULUS TO YOUR DEEP THROAT RESPONSE
When you hear me shouting yes, you can nod your head in agreement
Because when we see eye to eye, the sound from your lips is the sweetest
I…will…eat your words as you swallow my thoughts
I will eat eat eat…your words, as you swallow my thoughts
Share the wisdom in my tongue until my jaw gets too weak for me to talk
Then let me bless you with my stroke of genius
Talk my way in and out of your frame of thought
Inviting my hard my hard head to come think, think, think inside your box
With surround sound reverberating between the walls of its confinement
I can't stand silence
I want to hear each word, every noun, adjective, and verb
Your eye whispers to me its confessions
You were a master debater turned student by a cunning linguist
And, you were used to short talks, but I got you craving to receive my long speeches
I love the way your lips stick to the topic of discussion in mid-mission
But, sometimes I like to change positions
Reverse the discourse just to see things from the other side
And, I love it when you take control and speak your mind
Then you do that thing with your voice…you fall and rise…and fall and rise
Your cheeks tense and your lips stressed on every syllable
Squeezing out my thoughts as I drain out your words
Covering you with my thoughts as you cover me with your words
Until every word released begins and ends with a stutter
And every thought I think is about a conversation…between…LOVERS

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